Weddings and Engagements

So apparently this is the year for weddings for the Bamko India office.  I attended my second wedding a few weeks ago, there was another that I couldn't attend because it was too far away, and there are two more this year.  So the first wedding was for the sister of one of our artists, but still, so many weddings.

The second wedding was more of a big deal because it was people from my coding department, Sachin and Deepali.  Unfortunately for me, the timing of their wedding also happened to be the start of our new project so we didn't have two of our team leaders for the first ten days, but we decided that getting married was an acceptable reason.

I learned some more about the customs and traditions of weddings since I am better friends with Sachin and Deepali.  First, they are not usually allowed to leave their respective homes for three days before the ceremony.  During that time though, there are other ceremonies going on.  There is a puja at each of their homes and more that I have yet to experience.  Since many of the events happen in the evening, I can't make them all because of work.  In this case I elected to go to the main ceremony where Sachin and Deepali actually get to meet.

In arranged marriages, this would be the first time that the bride and groom would see each other.  The bride arrives first at the venue and goes into a nearby building or room.  She spends time only with the women from her family until the groom arrives.  In the room, she and her family perform another puja and continue getting ready to walk out to meet Sachin after he performs puja with the men of his family.

The groom arrives in grand fashion.  Coming down the middle of the street is a caravan of people, all dancing behind a cart blaring music.  Since we are all on foot, the usually chaotic Indian traffic is further crowded.  Sachin rode up on a donkey all decked on in a nice suit, surrounded by many people coming up to him and his family congratulating them.  I was pulled into the crowd of dancers for a brief moment, but was able to quickly weave my way out again.  In the first wedding it was this crowd that was lighting the fireworks that nearly hit me. 

Sachin

Once Sachin arrives at the venue, he is carried from the donkey.  He gets a moment of respite to stand while it looked like prayer and offerings were performed before he was again carried to the front of the hall.  He sits at the front meeting and talking with all the well wishers.  Meanwhile we are all wandering around the food buffet once again eating way too much food.  And being the only foreigner, I was stared at, and this time approached and introduced to an entire family.  As near as I can tell, one of the girls wanted to say hello to me but was too shy, so she called her brother who then came over and introduce himself, mother, two aunts, too shy sister, and cousins.  While all this was happening I was quickly abandoned by all by one of my co-workers. 

Deepali

Finally at about 11:00 pm I decided that I have to be responsible and go to the office.  Deepali still has not come down to "meet" Sachin so I go on a mission to find her.  Thankfully there are many helpful people who find her sister who then brings me up to say hello to Deepali.  Now, if the timing had gone according to the invitations I received (one from Sachin in Hindi and one from Deepali in English), this all would have happened about two hours earlier.  But, after three months, I was not at all surprised by the timing.

The next weekend was the engagement of two more of my co-workers, Shek and Bhawna.  This was the first engagement I have attended and it was much closer to a wedding in the US.  The scale of the engagement was significantly smaller.  It was still very different, but much closer.  I'm sure it also made a difference that Shek is Catholic, his father is a bishop.

While sitting at the engagement, I was talking with Shek's friend Shelly whom I had met last time I was in Delhi.  We were discussing the differences in the ceremonies between the US and India.  It finally dawned on me what had been nagging me about the two weddings and now this engagement - there was no alcohol.  None.  Which was a shock for me because whenever we get together, we often get beers.  I know in the US, often kids feel uncomfortable drinking in front of their parents.  But here it is a whole other level.  Drinking is solely done with your peers, not in front or with your parents.  Hmmm, I can't imagine not having a beer with BBQ or mojitos at the beach.  All the size and extravagance of the wedding is something I expect and something you see at some weddings in the US.  It's the taboo around alcohol at the events that amuses me.

Delhi

Sorry all, I know I have been out of touch for awhile.  I'll try to catch up the past month with a few posts over the next few days.

First, over Easter weekend I went to Delhi for a long weekend to get some big city time in.  I never thought I'd miss the big city - every chance I get in Los Angeles I escape to mountains or the beach or somewhere with open space and room to breathe.  Anyway, this time I escaped to the big city for a few days.  After taking a turbo-prop plane from the one gate - if you can call it a gate - airport in Dehradun to the Indira Ghandi International Airport in Delhi then getting in the cab of someone who didn't know his way around - it took us over an hour and I ended up directing after about ten phone calls to Shek - I ended up at my company office/apartment in Gurgaon - a suburb of Delhi like Santa Monica is a suburb of Los Angeles.

Me and Shek

Friday night we just hung out and caught up, mostly because I slept until 9:30pm.  This is the problem with the night shift, it completely messes up your weekends.  But it was nice to just relax for a night.  Then Saturday we had planned to actually get out and do stuff - yeah that didn't happen.  But we did make it out that night.  We went into Delhi, wandered around some shops, ate at Magique, then went to F Bar for some drinks and dancing.  It was a lot of fun (well except for the dancing) and it was a good thing we didn't go out during the day since we didn't get home until after 4, almost the same time as a night shift.

Sunday I spent with touring around Delhi with Ravi then met up with Sudhir and family for dinner.  It was great fun visiting all the sites with Ravi - Humayun's Tomb, Akshardham Temple, and Dilli Hart.  Humayun's Tomb is said to be what the Taj Mahal is based on, on the Taj is on a much grander scale.  The rounded dome at the top and symmetry of the building were unique features inspired by Persian architecture.  The tomb was also the first garden-tomb on the Indian sub-continent.

A picture I found on Google

From Humayun's Tomb we went to the Akshardham Temple.  This place is over the top - in many ways.  First, before going into the temple you have to either leave all electronics in the car or check them.  This includes all cameras, phones, iPods, spare batteries, etc.  Then you stand in the security line.  There is a women and children's line and a men's line where everyone walks through a metal detector before a pat down.  Once you're finally inside, you are on the grounds of the World's Largest Comprehensive Hindu Temple - really, it's in the Guinness World Records.  Inside the temple it's a little ostentatious for my tastes, but pretty amazing.  A note for any future visitors: watch out for the lights that stick up from the floors - they are dangerous.  Mostly because your eyes are drawn to the statues and artwork on the walls so your toes find the light fixtures first.  It's been a month and I can still feel it.

Another picture I found on Google.

Because there are no cameras of any kind allowed inside there are no pictures of the inside - even on Google, I tried for a few minutes (okay, seconds).  There are many pictures of the outside so here are a couple.  One of the things I found really amazing here was the intricacy of the carvings.  Both inside the temple and outside, the pillars had incredible detail on them.  Then bordering nearly the entire base of the temple is a tribute to elephants and nature.  They are carved out of the same stone as the temple and shares Gajendra Pith: elephants existing in nature, elephants relationship with man, and elephants with God.  On the barrier are sayings promoting peace and spirituality.

It was a little weird being at this temple after just visiting Humayun's Tomb.  Humayun's Tomb from the Mughal era and then Akshardham Temple that was completed less than ten years ago.  Especially considering despite being less than a decade old this temple was built with out structural support from steel.

I then only had a little time before meeting Sudhir and family for dinner, so Ravi and I stopped at Dilli Haat.  Dilli Haat is a market of food and crafts from all over India.  Unfortunately because of time I only had time to quickly walk through.  Hopefully next time I'm in Delhi I will have more time to really look at the amazing crafts offered.

Finally dinner.  As per usual too much food was ordered and it was all delicious.  We ate at the officers club which unknown to me and apparently Sudhir has a dress code.  He had to talk his way into letting me eat there.  Since I had been touring around the city all day I was in sandals and shorts, two of the prohibited items on the list. We ended the meal with kulfi, India ice cream.  I'm not quite sure how to describe it but here is a recipe to give you an idea.  The most unique thing about kulfi is the cardamom.  It is delicious.  I'm hoping the India Sweets shop near me in Los Angeles has it.  I know they have my favorite India soda, Limca, so I'm hopeful I will also find kulfi.

Overall it was a great weekend.  Definitely nice to get into the city, see some old friends, and just be a tourist without being stared at quite so much.